July 2011
1 post
May 2011
3 posts
“Change starts at home, stop trying to legislate people, and at least PRETEND you...”
– Me to most of Tumblr.
Seriously, I need to post legitimate things on...
jairolovzthepiza: have we talked b4? im 23/female. u?
ME: I'm a 34/Shih Tzu
jairolovzthepiza: oh ok sry i forget sometimes.
jairolovzthepiza: so whats up how are you today?
ME: Well, my car broke down and I had to get to work on foot, which sucks because I'm a breed of dog weighing 4–7.25 kilograms.
jairolovzthepiza: oh cool. hey if your not doing anything u should watch me play on my cam
jairolovzthepiza: i can get reallllllly bad if you want me too :-X
ME: Nah, that's alright, I have a long day of racial prejudice to look forward to and would rather focus on brushing my traditional long silky glossy coat that reaches the floor requires daily brushing to avoid tangles.
jairolovzthepiza: :-X k. my cam is linked to this website so i dont get recorded so you will have to sign up there
jairolovzthepiza: its fast and simple to signup and its free.
jairolovzthepiza: hello?
ME : I'm not here right now
jairolovzthepiza: k babe. go here [redacted] my cam will pop up for a minute but u need to signup or it will go away.
This is my only real interaction with people
benannerx3: hey you
Korea : I'm not here right now
Korea: Who this is?
benannerx3: hiii u doing anything i was sooo loneIy wanted to see if you wanted to chhat????
Korea: Ok sure, I'm just working no big deal. What do you think about Osama getting assassinated?
benannerx3: weIII ii jusst got bacck a IiI bit ago from working out and i'm gonnna get to worrk on here now wat ya up to????
Korea: That's weird you just came back from working out... oh wait, you were the person who took out Osama aren't you? That's amazing you consider it a "work out."
benannerx3: cool l been doin these webcaamm shows onliine while i'm in college stilI it is reaIIIy fuun ya shouId coome join me
Korea: You filmed the whole thing? Holy crap I wanna see that so bad!
April 2011
1 post
Another failed conversation with a woman
- SexyLady: hey
itemforty: Hi!
itemforty: Who this was?
- SexyLady: so whats up how are you?
itemforty: I'm doing great! How about yourself?
- SexyLady: oh thats cool so whats up u doing anything?
itemforty: Working right now! How about you?
- SexyLady: i Just got out of the shower. kinda bored...... want to have a lil fun?
itemforty: Nah.
- SexyLady: have you ever watched a girl on webcam? do u want to cause im about to get on mine?
itemforty: I don't have headphones here, which are really necessary for webcam watching because I need to be able to hear the friction in your legs.
itemforty: Otherwise it's just.not.worth.it.
- SexyLady: yayyyyy! k go here http://myprivateshow.net/frgh then at the Ieftish bottoooomish part of my page click acceptt lnvite
itemforty: No, I don't think you understood me; I can't get off unless I can hear the friction between the cellulite. I'm sure you understand.
- SexyLady: i use this site for my cam cause i don't want to be recorded! also it asks for a credit crd but its just to verify your age. it dosent cost anything.
itemforty: Oh I'm not worried about price at all. I am actually pretty weathy because I invented press on nails.
- SexyLady: let me know when you're done.
itemforty: Done with what?
- SexyLady: k
itemforty: Are you drunk? You know how I feel about your drinking
- SexyLady: are you in yet?
itemforty: In what? The conversation? As far as I can tell, I'm the only one "in."
- SexyLady: k when your on the main page search for my id "angelnery" and click view cam
itemforty: Do you have any sisters? Are they fatter than you?
- SexyLady: hurry babe im waiting for uuuuu
itemforty: I can't stand impatient women. Especially if they don't weigh 200 lbs at least.
March 2011
1 post
finnsblog asked: Who is your favorite adventure time character? Is it me?
February 2011
4 posts
watchmetakemypantsoff asked: Hey! Your blog is pretty cool. Would you mind checking mine out and tell me what you think? Thanks in advance!
To those who noticed...
Started a new job this month that demands a lot more focus, so it’s difficult to keep up with Tumblr. Even then, I’ve had to hide a few NSFW blogs out of honest fear of termination. SO WEIRD NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK AT PORN AT WORK, RIGHT?
Having said all that, I’ve recently developed a flow that will allow me to multi-manage these things. Add that to my passion to make something...
Would you believe it?!
contentpending:
So the weirdest thing happened: the staff at ContentPending DotCom were having our yearly Halloween party and we all got so trashed we fell asleep for 3 months! Isn’t that the craziest thing? Well, that’s what we get for mixing all that NyQuil™ and ambergris into the trashcan punch, huh?
Anyway, it’s a new year and it’s time to get some content pend’d, right? Stay tuned you...
January 2011
41 posts
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to...
iamasolo:
UGH. Okay, I’m tired of seeing this around tumblr, because it’s total BULLSHIT. Einstein didn’t even believe in God, he believed that “God” was nature and only used the name God as a metaphor for what we don’t know about the universe. Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son? Student: Yes, sir. Professor: So, you believe in God? Student:...
Are apricot seeds more effective than... →
“My favorite thing about the State of the Union last night was when Obama...”
– I think we could definitely win the future with Eugenics!
No Great Illusion: This is Something That Happened... →
This story is frustrating and I feel sorry for the author. That is all.
“EVERYBODY KNOWS I LOVE MOTHERFUCKING MATZOH”
– No One Man Should Have All That Flour
This Tumblr is brilliant and actually makes me happy that I sat through listened to all that Kanye.
For $25,000 you can buy the identity of Banksy.
mohandasgandhi:
banksystreetart:
banksystreetart:
(ed.) Update: here it is: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=&item=260720844294#ht_500wt_1156
(ed.) Update: bid ending tomorrow and bid goes up to US $999,999.00 at the moment.
The fact that someone is doing this is just awful and I’m sorry that this bidding war is even still going on. Why would someone even take the...
To Mark 'I Have a Dream' Speech, Fox Will Air... →
stfuglennbeck:
corruptpolitics:
anonymousatheist:
brittanibotulism:
The Fox speech, entitled “I Have a Feverish Nightmare,” will be delivered by network host Glenn Beck.
Oh for the love of all things unholy. Fox News, just stop while you’re alive.
Not “ahead,” because that’s something you will never be, but simply before you crash and burn.
“I have a dream that one day every American...
Rabble: sexuallyfrustratedfowlandshort: NOT A... →
rabbleprochoice:
sexuallyfrustratedfowlandshort:
NOT A POPCORN OKAY
‘HOW DARE YOU NOT TURN THOSE KERNELS INTO POPCORN? I DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T HAVE POTS OR WHATEVER TO MAKE POPCORN. I DON’T CARE IF HOT BOILING OIL SPLASH YOU IN THE FACE. YOU DESERVE IT FOR BUYING KERNELS OKAY.’
Epic win. Rabble…
But don’t you guys understand that kernels, being the beginning of popcorn,...
WatchI really don’t know anything about Sports, but the Onion’s SportsDome on Comedy Central was extremely funny to me. I think the episode I saw was absurd enough to get my attention, hopefully they are all as silly.
What is this? An animated High School series? In... →
Verizon iPhone: "doesn't support simultaneous... →
statehate:
sovietology:
statehate:
HAHA SUX BRO
Alternate headline: Verison iPhone doesn’t support further recoiling from society into machines.
And anyone who is “busy” enough to talk on the phone and use the internet at the same time should probably be doing something more productive.
But that’s exactly the point. The ability to be as productive as possible often depends on my...
scotttfriday-deactivated2011021 asked: i figured out your spoonerism long ago. ergo, i demand a pony. NO! a hyena.
The Jersey Shore season 3 premiere reached 8.5...
Snooki gets another book deal.
Situation gets another $5 million.
I wish 8.5 million people would watch CSPAN. Lord knows that there are clowns on that channel too.
scotttfriday-deactivated2011021 asked: damnit. what kind of follower are you? for shaaaaaaame.
that facebook beatdown video isn't the kid's father. it's his uncle. you'd KNOW THIS if only you paid a lil' more attention to my wildly popular internet weblog. it's like i don't even know you anymore.
that facebook beatdown video isn't the kid's father. it's his uncle. you'd KNOW THIS if only you paid a lil' more attention to my wildly popular internet weblog. it's like i don't even know you anymore.
WatchKid acts “hard” on Facebook. Father video tapes whipping kid’s ass and forces him to a) apologize and b) put the video on his Facebook wall. Hilarious.
Fun fact: Father gets so into it he knocks the phone off the hook.
Funner fact: Up until 2008, more people had landlines than cell phones.
EDIT: in the hopes of keeping my description similar to the original site’s, I...
“In my humble opinion, when the aim is legitimate scientific analysis,...”
– thenoobyorker via The Green State
